Keeping Up Appearances
by Catherine E. Grant
Summary: Alex isn't whom or what she appears to be...and neither is Rachel!


KEEPING UP APPEARANCES  
Author: Catherine E. Grant (avatar_31@angelfire.com)  
  
Disclaimer: I do not, I repeat, I do not own any of the main characters in this piece, Hutchinson and what's-is-name the class teacher are mine, but they aren't important. Hal McElroy owns everyone who is.  
  
Summary: Alex isn't who she seems.   
  
~~  
KEEPING UP APPEARANCES  
~~  
  
David fidgeted uneasily at his desk and looked again at the clock. Half an hour into class. Only half an hour gone yet it seemed like days had passed. Why did he have to have school today, of all days?  
  
He looked again at the sunny blueness outside the tiny classroom. If only he could go! He sighed, steepling his hands and glancing round the class again. It was History, a subject he was usually interested in, but he couldn't concentrate at all today. And David wasn't fooling himself as to the reason.   
  
His mother's birthday.  
  
Rachel Maree Goldstein, killed in the line of duty. Fatally stabbed during a passport investigation five months ago.   
  
He opened his folder to glance through the slim album he'd hidden between its pages this morning. Newspaper clippings, letters, photos. Rachel, smiling. Rachel looking pensive. As a young uniform. With Frank. With Jack and Mick. With Dad, on their wedding and later. With David himself.   
  
David bit his lip as he stared down at the final photo, embarrassing tears threatening at the corner of each eye. His mother was standing outside the Water Police Station, looking as happy as he'd ever seen her. She had one arm on David's shoulder, and one arm around Frank. Helen stood on the other side of her, Taylor and Gavin next to her. Mick and Jack crouched either side of David, Tommy next to Mick and Jeff beside Jack.   
  
Their last Christmas together.  
  
He could still see the look on his mother's face after Frank stole a kiss underneath the mistletoe. They'd all thought she was going to hit him, but she just laughed. Not that she hadn't been furious, though.  
  
"David!" the hissed whisper from behind broke his reverie. David half-turned in his seat, making sure he hid the album. God only knew the kind of teasing he'd receive if his classmates saw what he kept in his desk. He'd never hear the end of it.  
  
"You'd better pay attention or you'll cop it" his friend warned hurriedly. "Cratchley's ignored you so far, he's in a good mood, but don't push it, okay?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"C'mon, don't tell me you forgot! He's got some coppers coming in today to talk about the witness protection program."  
  
Coppers. Whatever else he had to say David didn't hear.  
  
Mum, laughing and hugging him.  
  
Mum at the station, checking her gun and going out to risk her life again.  
  
Mum, dying on the floor of an empty warehouse, her life spent.  
  
It didn't get any easier.  
  
"David! Dav-id! Shit, what's wrong with you? You've been funny all week!"  
  
"What?" he shook himself.  
  
"You. You've been acting really strange lately, is anything wrong?" Genuine concern showed in the other boy's voice. David forced himself to smile and shake his head.  
  
"Nah, thanks mate, I'm fine."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yeah."   
  
No one else could understand. Dad hadn't even remembered what day it was.  
  
"C'mon!" He got an elbow in his ribs for his day dream. "Wake up Goldstein, the cops are here, ACT NORMAL!" The in-joke brought a shadow of a smile to David's face.   
  
"So now I'd like to introduce Detective Senior Constable Michael Reilly, Constable Donna Janevski and Detective Senior Constable Alex St Clare, from the Sydney Water Police."  
  
"Thank you" said Alex, stepping up next to the man. Mick gave Donna a quick jab in the ribs. "Have a look at that, will ya? She's having the time of her life!"  
  
Alex spun around quickly and gave him a filthy look.  
"Shut your face, Mick! Okay, okay, well we'd like to talk to you today about the witness protection program, something that's saved more lives than the entire police squad of NSW put together. Seriously.   
  
"The program relies on the premise that you become an entirely different person. The 'minders' if you like who orchestrate things, arrange a new name, identity, appearance and location for the witness. In effect they become an entirely different person. Sometimes the witness is just smuggled out of the 'danger zone,' but sometimes more drastic measures are required. The example I'd like to use is that of one Detective Senior Constable Rachel Goldstein, formerly of the Water Police."  
  
Who? David stared down at the photo and up at the detective. What did she mean?   
  
What could she mean?  
  
"Detective Goldstein began receiving death threats about two months before she entered the program. She was sent several letter bombs, one car bomb - thankfully it detonated without harming anyone - and a number of direct attempts on her life were made.   
  
"The threatener appeared to hold a grudge against Rachel for an arrest she had made several years before. There were a few suspects who fitted the bill, they were all watched closely but the attempts on Detective Goldstein's life continued. Not without reservations did she agree to enter the program.  
  
"It was arranged that in the course of her current investigation for the detective to be 'fatally' stabbed in the stomach. The 'paramedics' who raced to the scene were in fact agents of the WPP, and Rachel's wound was barely more than a scratch and a pocket of fake blood. She was rushed to hospital and a doctor pronounced her officially dead. The paperwork was completed, a funeral held, and Rachel Goldstein was given a new name and identity.   
  
"That was nearly five months ago. We still haven't been able to determine who was targeting her, but Rachel herself is well out of danger and enjoying her new life."  
  
She looked carefully around the room. Most of the students appeared very interested, but one boy in the centre of the room appeared rather distracted. His expression alternated between ecstatic, furious and about to cry. Alex shook her head slightly and turned her attention away from him when another kid asked  
  
"So what about her friends and family? Do they think she's dead?"  
  
Alex nodded quietly. "Yes, I'm afraid so. Her colleagues at the Water Police were informed only recently that she is still alive, but her civilian associates won't be told until Rachel comes off the program."  
  
"That could be years though!"  
  
"Yes, that's the worst part about the program, it could be days, weeks, months or years, but that's the price the targeted individual has to pay for their life. Rachel wasn't happy about going on the program, in fact she went literally kicking and screaming, but in was necessary to save her life."  
  
"Oh" a slight hush went around the room. At the back, Mr Cratchley put his hand up. "How do they change someone's appearance, Detective St. Clare?"  
  
"Well, first they change the hair, dye it, maybe put hair extensions in, change the style. Then they give the person a new wardrobe totally unlike what they would've worn before, a new name, family history and job - usually something innocuous and, again, totally unlike their former profession."  
  
"And they stay in the same area?"  
  
"Again, no. The individual is normally moved to another state so there's no chance they could be recognised."  
  
David shut the album with finality, and stood up slowly. Holding the volume in one hand he walked to the front of the room. When he stood directly in front of Alex he said softly "So Detective Goldstein is still alive?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"She just has to pretend to be someone else"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And you can tell a whole room of school kids but you can't tell her FRIENDS AND FAMILY!? WHAT KIND OF POLICE FORCE IS THIS?"  
  
"Woah, slow down there!" Alex held up a hand to pacify him. "You've certainly got a loud voice!"  
  
That was it. David saw red. Somewhere in his mind he heard his mother's laugh, her warm voice, and saw himself crying over her gravestone.   
  
What a farce.  
  
"YOU BASTARDS! YOU COLD-HEARTED UNFEELING BASTARDS! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU ALL! MONSTERS! I HATE YOU!!!" Shaking, he spat at her and made a wild swing with his free hand, which she easily blocked. "ALEXANDRA ST CLARE!" He stopped, aware of the tears that were coursing down his cheeks. "I hate you" he whispered again, softly.  
  
"Woah, he's a bit emotional, I wonder what's upsetting him?" Donna wondered aloud to Mick. He was shaking his head, and looking at the boy with his head cocked to the side.   
  
The 'Alexandra St Clare' did it. Only a Goldstein could give the full name treatment in that tone of voice. It had to be.  
  
"Oh shit" he muttered and left his place by the wall. "David? I'm so sorry mate"  
"You know this kid?" Donna asked, her surprise evident. Mick nodded, certain now. "This is David Goldstein, Rach's son" he replied. "David? Do you remember me?"  
  
He nodded, drying his face on his sleeve. "You were one of Mum's partners" he answered carefully. "You and Frank, and then you and Jack...What about Frank? Has he been told? Did he even know about Mum in the first place? Where is he? Do you know where he is? I tried to contact him but I couldn't find him, he has to know about Mum, and-"  
  
"SHUT UP!" Mick yelled. David fell quickly silent. Yep, thought Reilly, studying the unquenched anger on his face, he's *definitely* his mother's son.  
  
"First of all, yes, Frank knows. Frank, and Helen, were the only people apart from Witness protection who knew the whole story, all along. He was contacted, and told, and your mother joined him in Brissie after her 'death.'" He grinned and snorted. "I guess she's a Holloway, now."  
  
David grinned slightly in response. "Hope so."  
"You okay with that mate?" Mick asked curiously.  
He nodded emphatically. "Yeah, Frank's great, if they get married I can come live with them, 'stead of Dad, you know"  
"Oh. That makes sense, I guess."  
  
Behind him, Alex shook her head enough for only Donna to see. It broke her heart to have to tell even her colleagues such lies. Her whole life was a lie. She'd worked undercover for a time but this was the worst 'assignment' she'd ever had. What life was worth the pain she had to watch? What kind of person could sit by knowingly and see those she loved in pain over such a lie?  
  
She wasn't sure she liked what she'd become.  
  
"So will I ever get to see Mum again?" David asked, less confident, more imploringly. Mick's heart was torn when he saw the hope in the child's face. For all his clever words and wisecracks he's just a little boy who desperately misses the mother he loves more than anything, he realised sadly. What can I tell him?  
  
Some of his thoughts must have shown in his face for David nodded understandingly and placed a hand on his arm. "I thought so" he said quietly.  
  
"I'm sorry mate, I'm so sorry"  
  
"I understand. We've been trying to cope with her death, it will be easier to cope with her absence, but-"  
  
He broke off, looked away, chewed his lip.   
  
"Why couldn't you TELL us!?" He broke out finally. "What kind of threat are we? How could it have hurt? Why couldn't we say goodbye? Why couldn't I have gone with her!? WHY???"  
  
"You would have been in danger, Davy, she didn't want that-"  
  
"Don't call me Davy."  
  
"Sorry. David. Your mother didn't want to put you in any danger, if people came after her family to look for her they'd only see confirmation of what they'd already been told."  
  
"Because she didn't trust us enough to tell us" the boy said quietly. "Oh I understand all right, we were kept in the dark and fed this line of bullshit because Mum didn't trust us enough to tell us the truth. She never loved us even half as much as she loved her job. It was her life, not her family."  
  
"Your mother loved you, David! She really loves you, she didn't want to hurt you!"  
  
"That's what she managed to do, isn't it?" He pulled away firmly, clutching the photo album close. "I'm going home" he said with dignity, "I've had enough of this today."  
  
Mick watched him go with pain in his eyes. "Why did we have to do this, Alex? How did we end up hurting this poor kid so much? Alex? Alex!"  
  
The D was gone. He turned to Donna for an explanation, she shrugged. "She said there was something she had to do" she offered bemusedly, "then she charged out after the kid. Don't ask me, I don't know what's going on."  
  
"What's up with her?" he wondered puzzledly.  
  
"I dunno mate, I just got the impression she'd come to a decision about something, she looked really determined. Kinda happy, too, like she was stopping something she really didn't like."  
  
~  
She caught up with David at the end of the main corridor. "Davy!" She yelled, her voice breaking. "Oh Davy I'm so sorry!" He turned, confused.  
  
"What?" he said softly, searching her face for answers. Something in her eyes told him something he barely understood. "Mum?" his voice shook. She nodded mutely and gathered him into a tight embrace. "I'm so sorry mate, no life's worth this, I've been living a lie, they thought if I could get back to work I'd have the best chance of catching this bastard, but I haven't got him yet, he's not onto me but I still don't know who he is."  
  
"Mum" David said again, pulling away to look closely at her face. Yes, something about her simply screamed 'Rachel Goldstein' though she looked nothing like the woman he remembered.  
  
Silently Rachel removed her contacts and cheek pads, wiping some of the tan make-up away with the side of her sleeve. "It's not worth it Davy" she said again, "I'd rather take my chances with this maniac than see my family and friends hurting all around me. You don't know what it's like, working alongside people who are grieving for you, and you have to pretend not to understand. It hurts so bad, it's giving me nightmares, and I've missed you so much, I've missed Dad, and I miss Rachel Goldstein! I miss being myself, I hate waking up in the morning and having to put on another identity. Alex is a nice woman and someone I think I could be friends with, even partners with, but I don't think I can stand to BE her any longer. I'll go nuts, I think. She's sophisticated, I'm not. She's a gourmet, I'm a pizza and beer person. What's more I hate her messy house, I keep having this urge to clean it but Alex wouldn't be a neat person, so I don't."  
  
"It's okay Mum" David said sympathetically, "it's all right, just knowing you're alive and okay makes up for all the rest. But you can't give it up now, if you stop being Alex this guy'll be onto you like a shot, he could kill you! Stay with it Mum, please. Please." He looked beseechingly up at her and Rachel found herself nodding.   
  
"Okay Davy" she said, sighing slightly, "I'll do it, for you, okay?"   
"Thank you" he said simply. There was nothing else to say.   
  
Quickly she replaced the cheek pads and contacts, and smudged the darker make-up so all signs of Rachel Goldstein were obscured. "Okay mate" she said in Alex's voice, "let's go back inside"  
  
"Okay Mum" But before they entered the classroom he gave her a final bone-crushing hug. "Visit me please?"  
  
"Couldn't keep me away" she promised.  
  
~~  
"Oh, Alex, there you are!" commented Mick when they entered the room, "we missed you."   
"Oh you know me Mick, I hare off all the time! Caught the little bugger, he'll be okay, guess he just needs some time to get used to things. Now, buster-" she addressed David "don't go try finding your Mum, if you get caught you could put her and yourself in real danger, and she wouldn't want that."  
  
"Okay, detective" David said passively.  
  
Donna and Mick exchanged a Look. What *had* she said to him?  
  
Alex caught their expressions and sent them a beautiful grin. "It's me natural charm" she explained. "I could charm a pack of rabid dogs with me smile, one school kid's no problem at all!" She checked her watch. "Okay, well, it was great being here but we really have to fly, come on you two, nice meeting you David, sorry about your Mum, thanks for having us, let's go." Putting an arm around Mick and Donna's shoulders she added "Let's go grab some lunch, I'm starving, I know the best little four-star place just ten minutes from here."  
  
"Only four-star?" asked Mick, raising an eyebrow.  
  
David just rolled his eyes and smirked. They'd never know.   
  
~~  
  
EPILOGUE: 2 Months later  
  
"So he was the one trying to kill Rachel?" Jack asked curiously.   
  
"Yep" Mick replied, "Anderson's a nasty sort. Goldie and Frank put him away four years back, he just got out for good behaviour. Decided he was gonna make 'em pay for what they did, couldn't find Francis so he went after Rachel. Bastard darn near killed her, too, before she went on that program."  
  
"Well now she can come off it" announced Jeff, shifting in his chair. "Good work you three, I believe congratulations are in order."  
  
"Thank you sir" chorused Mick and Jack. Alex didn't say anything. Now that she was finally free of this shadow her life could get back to normal, but she had no idea what to say. 'Oh hi guys, I've just been playing you for fools the past seven months.' Yeah they'd really like that, wouldn't they. Hell. What was she going to do? Only Hutchinson from the Witness Protection Program knew her new identity, and he wasn't exactly here to ask advice from.  
  
The door of Hawker's office swung slowly inward, creaking as it did. She flinched. She knew EXACTLY who it had to be, Hawker must have called him as soon as Laine had been caught. Shit, shit, shit.  
  
"Have a seat Mr Hutchinson" offered Jeff politely. He accepted graciously and waited expectantly. "So, Edward Laine is dead, he was the one targeting my detective."  
  
"Correct."  
  
"So Rachel can leave the program and resume her duties at the station."  
  
"If she wishes."  
  
"Well of course she bloody wishes you fool!" roared Jack angrily, "she's been what - a bloody florist or something - for the past half year, of course she's gonna bloody want her old life back!"  
  
Yes, I do, thought Goldie miserably, but how do I tell them? Hutchinson caught her eye for a moment and silently offered his encouragement. You can do it Rachel his gaze urged. Just take the plunge.  
  
Take the plunge Rachel she thought to herself, then paused in surprise. Yes, she must be ready, this was the first time she'd actually thought of herself as Rachel and not as Alex for ages.  
  
She WAS Rachel again. Slowly she stretched, unkinking the hands she'd been busy wringing into knots.  
  
"-and so what exactly has my top detective been doing under your program?" Jeff was saying. Hutchinson was stalling. "That's an interesting question, Inspector, in fact-"  
"Just bloody give me a straight answer!" he yelled in frustration.  
  
Decided, Rachel deliberately removed her contacts and slipped them in her pocket. The cheek pads went in the bin. Carefully she brushed out her hair into her normal style, then took a tissue and wiped away all traces of Alex's make-up. Just as carefully she removed her jewellery; that went the same way as the contacts. Rachel Goldstein didn't wear jewellery. After checking herself over carefully she stood up.  
  
"WHAT HAS GOLDSTEIN BEEN DOING?" screamed Hawker.  
  
She paused for a moment to choose her words. "Detecting, Sir" she answered impishly, "I've been a' detecting."  
  
All eyes in the room turned to stare at her. Then  
  
"RACHEL?????????"  
  
Hawker went white, Mick's mouth fell open and Jack fainted. Rachel Goldstein, formerly known as Alex St. Clare, regarded them all fondly.   
  
Yep, it was great to be herself again. She couldn't wait to surprise everyone else.  
  
THE END  
  
Words: 3358  
  
Okay, okay, this was just a silly little piece that sprang from a desire to work out David's feelings and memories of his mother. Please help me get my thoughts in order by sending me feedback, I'd especially appreciate any thoughts on this piece as I'm not really happy with it and would like to improve it.   
  
Don't feed the monkeys. They'll get gastro. Feed the bard instead, she'll eat anything.  
  
Thanks.  
  
Email: avatar_31@angelfire.com  
  



End file.
